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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I finally make it to the bus stop on Kairbekov. I’m waiting, and it’s hot. Like, why is it always hot when you’re waiting for a bus? I’m sweating like crazy. I see this lady next to me fanning herself with a magazine. I’m thinking, “Girl, same!”

Significant magnitude 5.3 quake hits 26 km north of Cholpon-Ata, Kyrgyzstan around noon